Staying Safe Throughout the Adoption Process

Choosing adoption is one of the most personal and courageous decisions you can make. Whether you’re just beginning to explore your options or you’ve already started looking at adoptive families, it’s important to feel safe, supported, and informed every step of the way.

Unfortunately, not every person or organization involved in adoption has good intentions. That’s why this guide focuses on how to protect yourself from scams, set healthy boundaries, and find trustworthy support during your adoption journey.

Your safety—emotionally, physically, and legally—matters. So does your peace of mind. Here’s what you need to know.

1. Understanding Adoption Scams: What They Are & How to Spot Them

It’s heartbreaking to think that someone would take advantage of a vulnerable situation, but adoption scams do exist—and they can target both expectant mothers and hopeful adoptive families.

Common Signs of a Scam:

• Unlicensed “adoption professionals” offering money or gifts in exchange for commitment

• Individuals claiming to be hopeful adoptive parents without any verified home study

• Pressure to sign anything quickly or make fast decisions before you’re ready

• Lack of transparency about your rights, the legal process, or post-placement options

• Promises that feel too good to be true, especially regarding money or housing

What You Can Do:

• Work only with licensed agencies or attorneys. Gladney Center for Adoption is one example of a licensed, ethical organization that protects both expectant moms and children.

• Never exchange money directly with hopeful adoptive families. All expenses should go through a licensed professional.

• Ask questions. You have every right to ask for proof of credentials, licenses, or legal processes.

• Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. You are allowed to walk away from any conversation or agreement.

2. Why Confidentiality Matters

Your story is yours to share—and no one else’s. You deserve to feel safe and respected, especially when your personal history, health, or emotions are involved.

You control your privacy. Adoption professionals should always ask you how much you want to share, and with whom. They should also be clear about:

• What details are required for legal purposes

• What information will be shared with the adoptive family (and when)

• How your records will be kept confidential

If you’re not ready to talk to family or friends yet, that’s okay. Your caseworker can help you decide who to tell, when to tell them, and what you’d like them to know. No one should ever pressure you to disclose more than you’re comfortable with.

Gladney and Adoption.com both prioritize privacy and will walk with you at your pace.

3. Setting Boundaries and Expectations

It’s important to think about what feels safe and right for you—emotionally and practically. That includes setting boundaries about communication, contact, and the adoption process itself.

Examples of boundaries to consider:

• Do you want phone calls, texts, or in-person meetings with the adoptive family?

• What kind of relationship would you like to have after placement—if any?

• How do you want your caseworker or support team to check in with you?

• What’s your comfort level around hospital visits or delivery-day plans?

Write down your thoughts. You can always change your mind, but having a written list can help you express your needs and stay grounded when emotions run high.

4. Therapy and Emotional Support: You Deserve It

Adoption is emotional—there’s no way around it. Even if you feel confident about your decision, there will likely be waves of grief, love, hope, doubt, and maybe loss. That’s normal.

Talking with a licensed counselor can help. In fact, it’s one of the most helpful things you can do for yourself, no matter where you are in the process. You can talk through:

• Your feelings about pregnancy and adoption

• How to communicate with family, friends, or the adoptive family

• How to navigate grief and healing—both short and long-term

• Coping strategies and mental health resources

• Planning for your future

Your emotional health matters just as much as your physical and legal safety.

5. Knowing Your Legal Rights

You should never feel rushed or confused when it comes to your legal rights. Every state has different laws around adoption, but you always have the right to:

• Be informed about your options

• Change your mind before signing legal documents (after the baby is born)

• Choose the family and level of openness that feels right to you

• Ask questions about how the law works in your state

• Have access to legal representation

Your caseworker or agency should explain everything clearly and offer legal support at no cost to you.

Warning Sign: If someone pressures you to sign documents early or says you “have to” do something a certain way—pause. A licensed agency like Gladney will always protect your legal rights.

6. Safe Places to Explore Adoptive Families

One of the most important (and sometimes overwhelming) parts of this journey is choosing a family for your baby. It’s a deeply emotional decision, and you deserve to feel safe and empowered while making it.

On Adoption.com’s Parent Profiles, you can explore real families who have been:

• Home study approved by a licensed agency

• Thoroughly background checked

• Trained to understand adoption and post-placement needs

Each profile includes photos, letters, and information about who they are and why they want to adopt. You can favorite profiles, save notes, and even reach out through the platform—on your timeline.

No pressure. No judgment. Just a safe space to explore.

7. Building a Circle of Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Whether you talk to just one caseworker or build a whole team of support around you, know that help is available.

Support Options to Explore:

• Caseworkers from licensed agencies (like Gladney)

• Peer support from other birth mothers through online forums and groups

• Therapists with adoption experience

• Pregnancy counselors or mentors

• Faith leaders or community groups (if that’s meaningful to you)

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure everything out at once.

8. You Can Change Your Mind

This might be the most important thing to remember: You are allowed to change your mind. Even after you’ve chosen a family. Even after you’ve made a hospital plan. Until you sign legal papers after your baby is born, nothing is final.

You may have doubts. That doesn’t make you flaky or selfish—it makes you human.

Take your time. Talk to your counselor. Ask your questions. You are not letting anyone down by needing more space or time.

9. Red Flags to Watch Out For

To recap, here are some warning signs that something might not be right:

🚩 Someone asks for or offers money directly
🚩 You feel rushed or pressured to make a decision
🚩 There’s no mention of legal or counseling support
🚩 The adoptive family isn’t home study approved
🚩 Someone says your adoption plan is “final” before birth

If you ever encounter any of these, stop and talk to someone you trust. Call a licensed agency like Gladney or message a moderator on Adoption.com for help.

10. You Are Worth Protecting

No matter what decision you make—whether you place your baby or decide to parent—you deserve safety, respect, and care.

You are not “giving up.” You are doing the best you can with love in your heart. And that takes strength.